Will my child
profess Christ? What do I do when my child asks to be saved? Does my eight
year old understand the gospel? Is he old enough or mature enough? I doubt my
salvation, what should I do? Can someone know for sure they are saved? I prayed the sinner's prayer 20 times and I still don't have a confident assurance of my salvation...
How should
Christian parents handle these questions? The easy answer that has become
popular since the mid 1800's is to lead our child in "the sinners
prayer". The better answer is much longer but more in line with Scripture.
Keep in mind, the Bible gives us a clear answer to these questions.
Leading a
child in a "sinner's prayer" in a moment of emotional crisis may be the catalyst for a lifetime of spiritual doubt and
confusion.
In fact,
children are not the only ones with questions about salvation and assurance.
Many adults who have been raised in Christian homes and who have prayed
"the sinners prayer" multiple times still find themselves without
assurance. They doubt their own sincerity and so they pray "it" again
and again hoping to finally find confidence and comfort.
Let me just say
at the outset that I am aware of Romans 10:9-10 which seems to teach this idea
of a sinners prayer. However, many people profess belief in the elements listed in these verses but still lack the saving faith necessary for salvation. The point of these verses is not only belief but what happens when one truly believes on Christ. IF I believe Romans 10, what does this really mean? The demons believe and tremble (James 2:19). Belief in these things is critical but an intellectual belief and saying some words is not what the passage is teaching. We all know people who have done this and who have no desire to follow God or know him. So, this is not a formula to be followed. In Romans 10, Paul is teaching that I must be willing to submit to Jesus' Lordship in every area of my life. It is a deep personal conviction of without reservation that Jesus is my own master and sovereign. Hence the term Lord Jesus in the passage. It is teaching that submission to Him is what I am signing up for. An individual whose heart has been penetrated by the saving Grace of God is one who willingly submits to this. We see this idea in other passages as well (Luke 9:23-26, 14:26-27). Only God can do this work in a human heart.
So, what is wrong with "the sinner's
prayer"? History has part of the answer.
Charles Finney
(1792-1875) was an attorney by profession and ministered in the wake of the
"Second Awakening," as it has been called. Finney one day experienced
"a mighty baptism of the Holy Ghost" which "like a wave of
electricity going through and through me ... seemed to come in waves of liquid
love." The next morning, he informed his first client of the day, "I
have a retainer from the Lord Jesus Christ to plead his cause and I cannot
plead yours". At that time, Instead of applying himself (Ezra 7:10) to the study
of Hermeneutics, Church history and Theology, at Princeton Seminary, or any seminary,
he decided to begin conducting revivals in upstate New York right away (Red Flag!). One of his
most popular sermons was "Sinners Bound to Change Their Own Hearts."
This was typical of his man centered theological system. Can man change his own
heart (Matthew 5:8; Ephesians 2:1)? He was a convincing orator but lacked
background and understanding of the Attributes of God and Scripture. Finney
used persuasive tactics to coax thousands of his listeners to "come to the
altar" and "make a decision for Christ".
The “sinner's
prayer” was born.
"Just ask Jesus into
your heart” the saying goes. No repentance. No understanding. Just a decision that makes mom and dad the preacher feel better.
Prior to this time, sinners were given Scripture, counsel, and left to the Holy
Spirit until finally they cried out to God for forgiveness. They came to an understanding by the aid of the Holy spirit. They were given time and allowed
to be illuminated as to the severity of their sinfulness against a holy God.
Finney's persuasive speech yielded thousands of professions of faith but when examined
later these professions were nothing more than temporary, emotional responses
which left the sinner unconverted and unrepentant. Under Finney’s teaching of
Self Reformation, many decisions were made but few persevered. Church buildings
were built only to sit empty just a few years later. If few persevere, few were
converted (Mark 4:17). We cannot reform ourselves.
The new birth is
induced by the Word of God (1 Peter 1:23). It is a monergistic work
(the work of God alone) brought about by the power and working of God, not by
human ingenuity or emotional persuasion. It is a work which God begins
(Philippians 1:6) and completes on our behalf (John 1:13). We cannot take
credit for something God did in our life, we're not that special :) (Romans
3:10-18). However, when our will is regenerated, we do repent, we do believe and cry out to God for Mercy and salvation.
But the "why" we call out to him is the critical factor. Again, it goes back to Philippians 1:6. He begins this work on our behalf and we simply respond to His gentle but effectual wooing.
But the "why" we call out to him is the critical factor. Again, it goes back to Philippians 1:6. He begins this work on our behalf and we simply respond to His gentle but effectual wooing.
The Church for
centuries had no “sinner’s prayer”. They responded by faith and repentance to
the conviction of the Holy Spirit and called upon the Lord for mercy. Prior to Finney, preachers did not ask
people, especially children leading questions like: “Do you want to go to
heaven when you die?” Or, “do you want to spend eternity with Jesus?” Every
child will answer these types of questions in the affirmative.
Dig deep (Proverbs
20:5)
When your child
says: "I want to be saved mommy!" Our first response should
be a series of questions. Why? From what? When did you start thinking this way?
We want to gauge their understanding of sin and God. Are they being motivated
by simple self preservation or do they thinking clearly and rationally about sin and God? Questions are a great way to try to understand
their thinking. (Proverbs 18:13)
If your child
asks something similar to: "will I go to hell when I die?" We could respond with "Why
do you ask that ?" or "tell me what you know about that". They may reveal that they lied or committed some other mischief.
Do not flat out tell them "NO" because at that point they would be
trusting your word instead of going through the process of beginning to trust
God and His word. If you try to ease their mind they will not have developed
the discernment they will need later in life to look at the fruit in their life
and compare it with the fruit mentioned in Scripture. This conversation with
your child may reveal that God is convicting them of sin. We do not want to try
to make them feel better by telling them they are "OK". We want the
Comforter to do that in His time through His word.
Do not be the
source of your child’s comfort. Rather, direct them to God's word and the
ministry of the Holy Spirit for comfort.
Parents must
know the Scriptures. What does good fruit look like in the Bible? Am I seeing
this fruit in my child or young person? Are they making decisions that are not
motivated by selfish desires but by a desire to honor God's word? Are they
suffering for righteousness' sake? Do they hunger to learn God's word?
Prolonging, or
not forcing a "decision" is far from detrimental if we use this time
to point them back to God's word and His Character. Patience. Allow them to formulate a deeper
understanding of God. Teach them what
repentance looks like in Scripture. Show
them examples of David (Psalms 51:1), young King Josiah (2 Kings 22:1-20 ), King Saul's
bad example of repentance etc. They should already be exhibiting repentance in
your home by the age of 3 or so. A child
should see mommy and Daddy modeling this by asking forgiveness. We must be
growing in our walk with Christ which serves as a model for our children.
Your child May come to you and say "Daddy, I just asked Jesus to
save me". That is wonderful. What a blessing. rejoice with her. "What
prompted you to do that?" Ask more questions. But, here is the critical point: I do not want to
continually point my child back to a decision they made when he is feeling doubts about his salvation. Nor would I do this with an adult. I want to point them to Scripture
and teach them to examine the fruit in their life. Scripture, in some cases was
written for exactly this purpose, to give assurance to the believer (1 John 5:13).
If an adult
doubts his salvation, point him to Scripture as his source of
assurance. We never
want to convince him that he was sincere when he prayed a prayer. His assurance comes from God's word and the work of Christ, not the sincerity of a prayer.
What Bible verses would point us toward assurance of our salvation?
Click here for marks of
a true believer. There are obviously many more but these are a start.
The Christian life is a life of transformation and growth. Ask God for
grace to walk with him in obedience and humility. Be teachable as you are
exposed to the word. Humble yourself and refrain from imposing your views upon
Scripture but allow Scripture to formulate your views. Assurance comes through
obedience to God's word. Assurance comes as we examine the changes that God is
making in our life and our conformity to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). Biblical assurance
does not come from questioning the sincerity of a prayer.